


Thinking

by Skeren



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5902219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeren/pseuds/Skeren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed tended to overthink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Written March 2006.

Sometimes it was easier to just not think. Not the act of not thinking, but the results of just making it all stop. You could think and think and you would think something straight to a derelict husk of what you wanted it to be in the first place. You could think yourself straight into a grave, and you could ruin every single good thing you ever had. 

Not looking, not seeing, didn’t make it better. It didn’t stop people from leaving, from dying. There was no helping the need to wonder what had been done wrong to drive off a loved one. There was no helping the need to believe that you were a cause, the cause, that someone died because the help they needed wouldn’t come. It wouldn’t hurt as badly if the answer was known, but the wheels just spin and spin, thinking and thinking…

If you didn’t think, you didn’t make plans that destroyed what little you had left. If you made sure to just close your eyes to the possibilities then you wouldn’t be disappointed when they failed and failed and failed again. You wouldn’t have to think of why they failed, or to wonder what pain was your fault. You wouldn’t have to consider the consequences of actions you didn’t take.

Making sure not to think would mean that the alternative routes and paths that you never took wouldn’t show themselves. You wouldn’t notice if you weren’t thinking, you wouldn’t wonder ‘what if’ as you were trapped on the path you picked. You’d do what you’d need to and that would be all. It would be so much better to run on automatic, to not think about it at all.

If a person didn’t think, then they wouldn’t hurt when separated from their loved ones. They’d be happy because they wouldn’t wonder if they were okay, because it wouldn’t matter so much. If a person didn’t think, then they wouldn’t notice they were alone.

Sometimes, Edward wished he could stop thinking, just for a little while.


End file.
